My boyfriend wants to be like me so bad.

My boyfriend wants to be like me so bad, but he always tries to deny it and say it's the other way around, but that's obviously a lie. I wouldn't blame him though, I'm so cool and everything else, so I understand.

Now that we've gotten the whole awkwardness of what to put as the opening line after not writing for a while out of the way. Hi. How are you? I hope you're pooping well.

There's this newsletter I read where the writer always asks that at the end of each newsletter, it always stands out to me. It's such an unusual question to ask, or at least, I think so. I'm not sure I want to know about anybody's pooping habit though, I just hope you're pooping well.

One thing that have been coming to mind since I got home from the hospital (or since yesterday, actually) is “I need to watch Tiktok, I need to watch Tiktok, I want to watch Tiktok”, it's not addiction or anything, just hear me out.

Tiktok is so distracting, there's just something about the fact that you're scrolling and scrolling and with each scroll you're seeing a new thing, it's amazing.

I don't watch niche videos on Tiktok, I mostly watch POVs with trending sounds that I sometimes get obsessed with and start saying in conversations like a crazy person—I only do this at home. For example, the other day I kept watching people dance to that Megan Thee Stallion's song with the Japanese artist over and over again. It was doing things to my brain.

I'll definitely download it tonight and spend like 3 hours on it, and then delete it again till whenever. I don't like to deny myself things, I'm just a girl. The reason I always delete it is because if I keep it on my phone, I'll spend so much time on it—plus the data!

I think Tiktok is way better than other video platform, its algorithm is way better than Instagram reels or YouTube shorts—they can never be that girl! All you have to do is watch (and like) 3 videos of people trying different dresses on YouTube shorts and that's all you'll be seeing from that point, Instagram reels too. Why? That was a phase, let's move past that!

I went to the hospital today. I actually just got back some hours ago. Friday is the designated day for IT—my lecture timetable is the absolute ghetto. I got posted to a new unit today—the accident and emergency ward, I kinda like this one too, I feel like my IT is going so smoothly—God, why do I feel like I've jinxed it, this is me trying to double cross the jinx, a “I was already anticipating this, so you can't fool me” situation.

Today was interesting and unlike other people who complain that they work a lot and it's so stressful, I don't think I've ever felt that way, most of the time, it's just laziness on my part, this is why I think it's going too smoothly, but if God propose, how can I dispose?

So far, this unit is an 8/10, by next week (my last day at the unit), we'll see the final rating. I'll rate my last unit a 6/10.

One of my favourite writers, Oluchukwu (I've mentioned him before, if you can't remember, you need to keep up) is doing this thing where he sends a newsletter every day, so it gives me something to look forward to every day—in my mailbox, at least.

I really love people who just do stuff, I always go “how do you even have the strength to do that? Did you overthink it?”, because that's exactly what I do with all my ideas. In my head, ✨ they don't make sense ✨, until I see someone do it and it's like, “oh, it actually makes sense”, the only question now is, am I seeing how good the idea is because someone is doing it? Yes, probably.

There's this thing he puts at the top of each newsletter,

Throughout July, I will post a newsletter every day. It will be part journal, part musing, part venting/ranting/crying whatever. It’s everything, it’s nothing, it’s me staring into the glass and trying to see myself through words. Welcome to Mirror.

These are my favourite type of newsletters, the fact that I never know what to expect makes it more thrilling and interesting—yes, very much like mine. I just realised that this is also similar to what I said about Tiktok.

It's also why I watch lifestyle videos and vlogs, like my sister would say, “why are you watching people do normal things and live their life”, it's interesting, I never know what they're going to do next and I think the best way to gain perspective on things and get inspiration/motivation/whatever (there's a word I'm looking for right now, but I can't seem to remember it right now), is just to watch them live their life.

You watch someone's video and all of a sudden, you want to do things that make you happy too, you realise “oh, life doesn't suck, it's just the fact that I keep spending time with bums”. It applies to newsletters too. That's also the reason why I like reading stories on Medium, people just write. It's so cool.

Ah, yes, before I go, album recommendation; The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess by Chappell Roan.

I need everyone to stop everything they're doing and listen to this album. I first heard a part of it from Tiktok and it was so good, I just knew that I need to listen to this album before I die.

My favourite songs from the album are Femininomenom, Red Wine Supernova, and HOT TO GO! My brain randomly just goes “H-O-T-T-O-G-O, you can't take me hot to go” every now and then. The beats are so cool. You should listen to it, really.

The other songs I'm currently loving are Chemtrails Over The Country Club by Lana Del Rey and Remember by Asake. Why? They scratch an itch in my brain whenever I listen to them, I just keep them on repeat most of the time.

What are you currently listening to? I think I'm done writing this newsletter and I'm quite pleased with myself. Do send a reply, if you can, and eh, poop well.

Bye x.