Hi, guys. I'm trying to concentrate and write this, while also trying not to crash out. I can't tell you a particular reason why I'm upset, I just feel like I need to cry and talk.

Unrelated: How do people do adulting? I'm thinking about people with children and I'm seriously wondering how they don't put their head in an oven like Sylvia Plath.

It's just me and I feel so overwhelmed sometimes, like I'm doing a terrible job. I saw a Tiktok that talked about how time flies in your 20s and before you know it, you are like the adults you swear you wouldn't be like.

It's fine if you change your mind and decide you don't want certain things, but settling is the problem. I get really anxious thinking about it, so I don't think. I don't even journal so much these days. I'm so scared of pausing because that would mean I have to think and I don't want to do any of that.

The closest I've come to honesty is when I'm talking with my loved ones, which I'm grateful for, that they give me the space to be honest.

So, what has been happening since you last heard from me? Well, my phone was spoiled and I couldn't write to you. It wouldn't work unless it was connected to a power supply (mostly my power bank), so that was hell since I used the phone for literally everything. I felt so… tired. I felt like years of my life were being lost as I kept using the phone.

Anyways, I got a new one (obviously). If I knew that was what it would take for my father to get me a new one, I probably would have done that earlier—well, not really, but you get the point.

If you're a consistent reader of the newsletter, you'll know that I'm currently doing my internship as a pharmacist, and I moved to Lagos for that. I've been working at the Ikoyi branch of the pharmacy I'm interning with, but I'm not there anymore.

I'm now at Ajegunle/Apapa, I woke up one morning and they decided it was my time. That was actually how it happened, I just woke up and I was told I was being moved. This was the initial plan because I was supposed to start from this branch instead of Ikoyi, but things happened and I started from Ikoyi instead.

When I first moved here, I was feasted on by mosquitoes. That was a very interesting moment because it was so much that I couldn't sleep, and I could feel and hear them constantly. That's how much they were. That was a Sunday and I remember staying awake against my will. The more interesting part is I was the only one in the apartment that night.

I have flatmates, yeah, but all of them weren't around that night, and it was… something. I should have known though, with the way the windows were opened when I walked in. The mosquito problem is not solved though, even though it's not as much as the first day, it's still there and—yeah.

I have a roommate and luckily, she's someone I'm already familiar with since we attended the same university. I do like this environment, there's people everywhere and it feels familiar. There's a church somewhere in the apartment building, that's another thing I found out when I woke up that Sunday after barely sleeping that night because of mosquitoes. I also had to go to work that same day because I was working that weekend.

Speaking of work, it's just… meh. Sometimes, it feels like I will never really understand it, I will never know the right medications to recommend, I will never be a good pharmacist, I will never just GET it.

Other times, I have to remind myself that I went through school, inducted, and I have only been doing this internship for 2 months. I just need to put in the work and I will get there. I have to show up for myself and the job. It's not magic.

I'm going to stop writing now, I have to wash plates and it's something I want to do before it gets dark because alas, the light has spoiled and when the light has spoiled in shared apartments, it means there will be no water for a while (because they can't pump it). Something I'm still coming to terms with.

(or not, because I can count how many generators I hear every night, so nobody wants to pump the water?)

Clearly, I didn't open this document after Tuesday's entry. Mostly due to procrastination. Till now, I can't give an accurate account of what I do between 4:30pm - 7pm. I come back home, lay on my bed while using my phone and telling myself that I'm thinking of what to eat, and then it's dark and I don't even prepare anything or I just start preparing something if I can't ignore it.

Obviously, that's not the plan. That's how time passes and you get to the end and realise that you wasted time doing insignificant things. I will change from this week. That's my new week's resolution: to do the things I say I will do.

It's Sunday morning and I'm working this weekend. My shift starts by 1pm, so I get to rest a little. I need to wash today and maybe clean my room a little. More like arranging my things.

I think I will be working afternoon shifts this week and it will be the first time I'm working any other shift apart from Morning. I don't know if I will like it. I work full days during the weekends and I don't enjoy closing at night, especially the fact that one person can come in and keep you beyond the closing time, which means you might end up getting home by 10pm. I hate it so much, agh.

I need to wash these clothes now and hopefully, finally finish watching The Florida Project.

I moved my blog to Substack. In case you're confused, the blog is the one where I usually post reviews, wrap ups, and do interviews about books and writing.

Speaking of interviews, I really have GUTS, all I needed to interview someone then was the thought and NOTHING will stop me from pursuing it. They must get on the blog.

I haven't posted any interviews recently because I haven't been posting on the blog at all. Hopefully, that changes next month. Before then, you should check it out and subscribe if you use Substack (still subscribe if you don't use Substack).

Now, blog IS NOT newsletter. They have the same name (Graceandbooks), but they serve different purposes. The newsletter is more personal, unlike the blog. I'm saying it because it seems some people were mixing it up when I posted about it on my WhatsApp status.

Anyways, that's all for this week. See you next week.

Bye x. 💕

P.S. Before I go, does anyone know if I can set up my UBA mobile app by myself at home or if I actually have to go to the bank to set it up? Help me pls.