Regular programming. 

I've spent most of today lying in bed. I've had terrible cramps that made me seriously consider removing my uterus. I'm so serious. I don't understand why this has to happen every month, and it's really crazy when you think about it. I have to do this next month again? Bro. What is this life? 

This week has been so-and-so; I have no thoughts about it. I've been at home since Tuesday afternoon. I had a mental breakdown, which led me to start a series that I checked out of in season 2. 

A lesson I kept coming back to this week was how you can either stay scared and wonder if anything is for you at all AND not do anything, or you can start something and figure out what you want to do by actually doing something. 

Throughout this week, I've listened to people talk about how they got to a certain age/time and they realised, “Oh, I should have actually started this thing earlier or the first time it came to mind instead of wondering if I will ever go far” or something like that. It's not necessarily a bad thing. It's not, but the lesson is it will never actually be clear. Just start. 

Another set of people I keep thinking about are the people who just kept doing anything they found interesting, and it led them to different paths, and today, they're so far along. They're doing so well for themselves, not because they figured it out then, but because they didn't AND they didn't let that stop them. 

I have a lot of “OMG, is this worth it” moments, and that usually stops me from making a lot of progress with things. I even look back, and I say, “Oh, if I had kept on with this thing, I would have made wonderful progress by now”. It's interesting. There's really something about believing in yourself and just keeping going. 

Anyways, I graduated from the writing fellowship today (🥳). I'm so happy and proud of myself because I almost quit at some point. I didn't think I would make it this far, but I did. Everybody say “Congratulations, Grace.” 

There was a feedback (compliment?) that my mentor in the fellowship gave me; it went something like, 

“There’s something about the way you write. You write without watering down what you're saying just because you want to appease people or fit in. You're just trying to tell your own story.”

It wasn't a text; it was on a call, so I can't get the exact thing, but it really meant a lot to me. Writing this here now is a way of capturing that moment. 

When I started writing, I so wanted to write like the people I had around me, but when I let go of the need to sound like XYZ or ABC, I was able to learn better and improve myself. Of course, there's always room for improvements, and you should learn from other people, but you should never forget your voice or yourself. 

Ha. A lot of perspire to aspire notes in this newsletter. Take it or leave it, guys. 

It's exactly one month till my birthday. Funny enough, there's no special plan. I mean, there was, until I used all my money, so now there's no plan. I just like anticipating it. I do want a cake though and a copy of Eloghosa Osunde’s new book. It's coming out on the 22nd of July (if you didn't know). The name's Necessary Fiction, and I've been looking forward to it. 

It's a new week tomorrow, and I'm already looking forward to the part where I don't have to go to school. I have two tests this week. 

💕 Something new I learned this week: 

🧍🏾‍♀️(ewo). 

💕 Something that brought me joy this week: 

🧍🏾‍♀️(ewo). 

💕 Something I'm looking forward to: 

Next week, I just want to have fun and a pocket filled with joy. 

💕 What I'm most grateful for this week: 

Myself. I didn't lose my head. 

Books.

I did start a book, but I didn't finish it. It was one of those Hockey romance fiction. Too much unnecessary banter. I understand that they're enemies (who will later become lovers), but can the rivalry at least make sense? No? Okay. 

Articles, blog posts, essays, and everything else in between. 

🧍🏾‍♀️(Heh). 

Music. 

I've been listening to Lola Young's One Thing, I love it so much. 

Movies, Series, YouTube, and everything in between. 

I've been watching a lot of YouTube. Today, I watched a commentary video about why girl friendships don't survive trips to Miami, and I think it's quite simple. 

First off, why are you going on a trip with people you're not friends with, or at least, close with? Heh? Why are you going on a trip when you're broke? Why are you guys not having a proper discussion before going on the trip? Who invented splitting it down the middle? I will never. Everybody should always pay for what they got. Which one is we should share it equally? Please. 

Also, I started watching The Big Bang Theory, it was the series I was referring to earlier. I stopped at Season 2, episode 5. I just couldn't see myself getting past that episode. All of them are terrible friends, it was torture, I couldn't do it. 

Where do I even start? I understand that Sheldon's character was meant to be that way, but omg, he's so annoying. Now, Howard. What a pervert. I couldn't stand him. Nothing more to say about him. Leonard. He's sweet, but there were just some scenes that I couldn't wrap my head around, I can't remember it, but he definitely annoyed me. Rajeesh. Well, his entire thing about going mute around women became boring after episode 3. It was hard to watch after that point. 

And it's 12 seasons?! Bro. 12 seasons of these people?! Count me out, please.  

Gather round. 

My internet footprint. 

I have a podcast if you ever cared—and I will definitely be back to the podcast soon. Just like with the blog. 🙈

This Week's Photo Gallery. 

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you're good and taking care of yourself. Do send a reply if you can.

Bye x. 💕

P.S. I’m trying to get back into regular programming, that is, with the bi-weekly newsletters. So, the next newsletter will be on the 26th. Till then.