At the core of it all, you just have to like yourself (and more yapping inside).

Regular Programming.

Earlier this week, I was looking at myself and I noticed that something that used to make me so insecure had gone, at least, reduced to some extent that it doesn't bother me.

After noticing that, I immediately went straight into thinking “but ABC is still here, MNO is still here, I don't exactly like the way it looks”, and it was at that moment that I realised that you can do the procedures you want or take out whatever you don't like about yourself, but the main thing is, you have to love yourself, or at least, like yourself.

Years ago, I would have done anything to be at the point I'm right now concerning that particular thing and I probably would have said, if this thing goes away, I'll feel like myself more, but it did now and I still feel the same way, but I'm blaming something else this time.

The whole thing was like having some kind of revelation and it was interesting, because it wasn't always about the things I felt were wrong, but just about the way I perceived myself generally.

So, yeah, the lesson is, the work starts from liking yourself first, if not you'll keep doing procedures and procedures and applying all the products and you'll still feel the same way. It won't solve anything.

Anyways, welcome to this week's newsletter. I hope you had a wonderful week. My week was a blur, I can't remember much from it. I started My Sweet Mobster (kdrama) on Sunday and I finished it on Tuesday, and first off, why is the FL's best friend's relationship always more interesting (and hotter) than the Female lead's?

There's always more action in the relationship and it's just so… good. In Business Proposal, it was the same thing and the person she was in a relationship with? Chef's kiss.

I think I should google this—I just remembered why I even started thinking about this and decided to start writing the newsletter. There's no network. Airtel will not be the death of me.

It was even bad yesterday (at the point when I initially wrote this) because I was trying to join a zoom meeting and there was no network and light, so my devices were low. I just became over it and went to bed, now today again? What a wicked world.

When I started the movie, I didn't exactly like the ML. His voice was off putting, but I've got used to it.

I just remembered how when I started, about 5 episodes in, I was already waiting for them to fall in love and kiss. I needed the lovey-dovey parts to start happening immediately. Yes, I do not have a single slow burn bone in me.

I'm not saying the two characters should fall in love immediately, but at the same time, do not drag it out longer than necessary. Agh. Just do it right.

I've probably mentioned this here, but my favourite romance trope is ‘enemies to lovers’ and then you add spice? Omg. It's intense. Like, they hate each other, but somehow have sex with each other. Amazing. It's so wonderful when it starts becoming more than sex for both characters and they fall in love.

This is exactly why I've read most of Penelope Sky's books. Most of her books I've read are enemies to lovers, well, more like the MMC kidnaps the FMC and then they somehow engage in coitus and they fall in love.

My favourite love story is part of the Lingerie series, I can't remember where the story starts exactly, probably book 5 or 6, but it's Vanessa and Bones' story. I need to read that particular story like I'm reading it for the first time. Infact, I want to read her books like I'm reading it for the first time.

Another of my favourite tropes is Marriage of convenience, love it! There's also mafia romance which can basically be a combination of the two tropes I've mentioned.

A trope you won't see me reading ever is ‘friends to lovers’, I find it very annoying. Probably because it reminds me of two people I know who were both my friends (we were all friends) and somehow decided to start dating and I was in the middle of the whole thing, it was so awkward.

Back to the kdrama, I would give it a 7.5/10, it was really cheesy and fun, but they kept doing this thing where the ML couldn't decide if he wanted to keep the FL close or not.

It was always an off and on thing. Today, he likes her, tomorrow it's like, “no, stay away, my family is dangerous yada yada”, I'm not even going to lie, the side characters were more interesting than the ML. A 7.5 out of 10.

Moving on to other movies, I decided to start watching Euphoria too because TikTok kept pushing it in my face. Before I started it, I already didn't like Cassie, she seemed like a pain in the ass.

I liked Maddie, she seemed like a baddie. I'm not excited about Zendaya's character (Rue), I try not to think about it too much so I don't change my mind.

I'm now 3 episodes in, and I still don't get Cassie's deal, but Maddie is a psychopath, and the fact that Rue is the one telling the story makes it a little better. And, oh, they weren't joking when they said ‘strong sexual content’, omg.

One minute you're watching high school students (I can't think of one normal thing they do in this movie) and the next minute, you're seeing butts and penises in your face.

I also decided to start What's Wrong With Secretary Kim? (WWWSK), but I haven't watched anything yet because I can't seem to stop thinking about Euphoria.

I've known about WWWSK for a while, but the name has just been putting me off, but I watched the trailer some time this week and it looked like exactly what I needed.

This week has just been a… lot. Not a bad ‘a lot’, just ‘my head has been everywhere’ a lot, but it's cool because I'm not a robot and my life is not supposed to be one thing all the time. This is a lot better than being anxious, so I'll take this.

Meanwhile, I just uploaded the blog post introducing the new guest writer on the blog—I talked about this in the last newsletter—and I'm glad she's working with me on this.

Go read it and leave a comment (if you can) and share the blog post too (on your status, book clubs, your book loving friends).

Speaking of book clubs, I joined this book club recently—I've been running away from book clubs because for some reason, I always don't want to read whatever the month's pick is.

For last month's discussion, they were discussing Purple Hibiscus and I Who Have Never Known Men, I didn't have to read any of the books because I've read both books before, but the point is, when I participated in last month's discussion, it reminded me of why I love book club meetings.

The way everyone just shares their own perspective is interesting and the arguments are always something to look forward to.

Anyways, this month they're (we are, lol) reading A Thousand Splendid Suns and The Plea by Steve Cavanagh.

I've been avoiding Khalid Hosseni books for a long time now because all people talk about is how it's so sad yada yada, so I'm mentally preparing myself.

I haven't sat down to read it though, I'm still on page 1, but I'll read it and be part of the discussion.

I finished Boy Parts by Eliza Clark, I gave it a 4 out of 5. I can't remember what happened in the book right now, but all I can say is, the MC is beyond redemption.

My storygraph stats for last month are in!

All I'm going to do when these exams are over is read, write, watch movies, and sleep. Will I be able to catch up with my reading goal? Stay tuned.

Speaking of exams (and school), our C.A. scores have started coming out one by one, I don't know if it's because my head has just been everywhere, but I've been quite indifferent about them.

Whenever I think about exams, I panic because I feel like I'm not preparing as much as I should and I wonder if I'm going to cover so much before the exams. I feel… how do I feel? Numb, to be very honest. I don't know how I feel. I feel like I'm going to have a massive breakdown soon that will reveal how I'm actually feeling.

I just know that I need to read my book and put in the work this semester, a lot of it, I need to pass. Next year, I should be in 500 level and the thought of that always makes me so excited and I'm really looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to graduating.

That's all for this week, I hope you had a more interesting week than I did and you're touching grass every now and then. Stay safe and keep being a superstar.

Before I go, next week's newsletter is going to feature some sort of Q n' A, so ask me questions! Whether a question about me or you're seeking an opinion on something, just ask. You can ask more than one question, so just ask away.

See you next week, bye x.